Content warning: misogyny, sexual assault (mentioned), suicide (mentioned)
Originally published by The Dread Machine

from: LinkedIn <>
to: Kristie Griffin <>
date: Aug 20, 2021, 6:13 PM
subject: Today’s job listings

Hi Kristie,

Here are the latest job listings from the companies you follow:

  • Software Engineer (posted 2 weeks ago)

For more listings like this, visit

from: Mitchell Sanderson <>
to: Kristie Breslin <>
date: Aug 23, 2021, 12:06 PM
subject: Audio corruption

hey kristie, nice meeting you just now. sorry for the confusion … i didn’t realize we had hired anyone for that role yet. anyway, welcome to the team! i hope you brought your bikini, because i’m going to throw you right into the deep end. Rob (CTO) is on my ass about an audio glitch that has been affecting our voice chats. we just pushed some codec updates … maybe one is borked? idk. anyway, please take a look when you get back from lunch.


Mitchell Sanderson
Engineering Manager

from: Kristie Breslin <>
to: Mitchell Sanderson <>
date: Aug 23, 2021, 12:42 PM
subject: Re: Audio corruption

Thanks, Mitch! Looking forward to getting my feet wet. Hopefully I’m not in over my head. 🙂

I created a JIRA issue (AUDIO-149). I’ll let you know what I find.

Kristie Breslin
Software Engineer

AudioSnap / AUDIO-149

Type: Bug
Priority: Urgent
Status: Open
Created by: Kristie Breslin <>


Customers are complaining about unusual background noise during voice chat. Variously described as droning, weeping, whispering, cross-talk, etc. Recent codec update may have introduced a bug.

from: Kristie Breslin <>
to: Mitchell Sanderson <>
date: Aug 23, 2021, 3:19 PM
subject: Re: Audio corruption

Hey Mitch,

FYI, the codec was a dead end. No issues filed on their GitHub, so it’s probably a bug in our stack somewhere. I’ll keep you posted.

Kristie Breslin
Software Engineer

AudioSnap / AUDIO-149

Kristie Breslin (just now)
Attaching audio recordings from customer complaints for further analysis:

  • helpdesk-issue-39520.mp3 : “Whispering in background of call.”
  • helpdesk-issue-39566.mp3 : “Weeping noise during group voice chat.”
  • helpdesk-issue-39590.mp3 : “Background droning sound.”
  • helpdesk-issue-39621.mp3 : “Sounds like someone is crying.”

Mitchell Sanderson
This is the very beginning of your direct message history with @mitch

Kristie: hey, you around?

Mitch: for you? always. lol.

Kristie: so, i pinged angie in customer service and had her send me the recordings of the voice chats

Mitch: smart girl
Mitch: you, i mean
Mitch: not angie
Mitch: she dumb. 😉

Kristie: i definitely can hear the problem

Mitch: that’s … good?

Kristie: well it’s easier to fix a bug that i can hear, so yeah
Kristie: anyway, whats weird is the noise is basically the same in all the recordings. if it was a compression artifact, it would be different for each call. but it’s always the same no matter who’s talking or what they’re saying.

Mitch: what’s it sound like

Kristie: listen
Kristie: attached helpdesk-issue-39590.mp3
Kristie: you hear it?

Mitch: it sounds like crying

Kristie: yep

Mitch: wtf

Kristie: don’t know yet. will let you know when I do.

Angie Martinique
This is the very beginning of your direct message history with @angie

Angie: hey you. got another one of those complaints just now.
Angie: attached helpdesk-issue-39633.mp3
Angie: give that one a listen. it’s a little different than the others.

Kristie: define different

Angie: it still has the crying or whatever, but there’s also like this voice underneath

Kristie: listening …
Kristie: holy f

Angie: i know, right? it’s creepy as hell

Kristie: what’s it saying?
Kristie: sounds like “which will get it”

Angie: i heard “bitch i’ll hit it”

Kristie: lol

Angie: hahahaha
Angie: it’s like one of those audio illusions where people hear what they want to hear

Kristie: totally

Angie: you figure out the problem yet?

Kristie: meh. not really.

Angie: any clues?

Kristie: a few. still trying to connect the dots. every time i think i know what’s happening i find some new detail that completely changes the picture
Kristie: like, i think i’m drawing a bird, and then i’m like “wait, maybe it’s a frog”

Angie: wow sounds super fun /s

Kristie: that’s why they pay me the big bucks

Angie: alright, well don’t work too late
Angie: watch your six if you do

Kristie: my six?

Angie: your back

Kristie: … ok?

Angie: mitch can get a little handsy sometimes. dude watches too much Mad Men if you ask me.

Kristie: oh hell no
Kristie: i will cut him

Angie: hahahahaha that’s my girl

Kristie-Breslin-PC ~/Desktop/AudioSnap/branch/AUDIO-149
$ git status
On branch AUDIO-149
Changes to be committed:
new file: RAPIST.txt

from: Kristie Breslin <>
to: Security <>
date: Aug 25, 2021, 9:09 AM
subject: Unauthorized PC access

I was just checking my git status, and I saw this (screenshot attached). See that RAPIST.txt file? I didn’t create that. All my changes were committed before I left last night. Which means someone accessed my computer sometime between when I went home at 1 AM and now. What do I do?

Kristie Breslin
Software Engineer

from: Security <>
to: Kristie Breslin <>
date: Aug 25, 2021, 9:42 AM
subject: Re: Unauthorized PC access

Looks like you were the last person to leave last night, based on the keycard logs. Nobody came in or out after that. You sure you didn’t just forget that you created that file, babe? 😉

Jasper Heinz
Infosec Lead

from: Kristie Breslin <>
to: Security <>
date: Aug 25, 2021, 9:54 AM
subject: Re: Unauthorized PC access

No, I didn’t just forget that I created that file, babe. Somebody accessed my computer last night, and it wasn’t me. My name is Kristie, btw.

Kristie Breslin
Software Engineer

from: Security <>
to: Kristie Breslin <>
date: Aug 25, 2021, 10:01 AM
subject: Re: Unauthorized PC access

Fine KRISTIE. Bring your laptop down and we’ll take a look.

Jasper Heinz
Infosec Lead

Kristie: what is it with the men in this company?

Angie: what did he do
Angie: did you cut him? lol

Kristie: no, not mitch. jasper from infosec. fucking weirdo.

Angie: oh HIM
Angie: the neckbeard is strong with that one

Kristie: that fedora has seen better days, lemme tell ya
Kristie: i can smell it from here

Angie: hahahaha
Angie: be careful or he will try to make you his waifu

Kristie: /giphy barf
Kristie: this is why i’m gay

Angie: lololol
Angie: so what happened?

Kristie: somebody accessed my PC after i left last night
Kristie: created a new file in the branch where i’m working on that audio bug. RAPIST.txt

Angie: holy shit

Kristie: i know, right?

Angie: what was in it?

Kristie: nothing. it was empty. which makes it even weirder.

Angie: you sure it wasn’t him?

Kristie: him who? jasper?

Angie: i mean, he does have root access to every computer in the company, so …
Angie: he can basically do whatever he wants

Kristie: why though? just to mess with me?

Angie: maybe it’s his weird way of getting you to talk to him?

Kristie: oh god. kill me.

// Add new audio channel, up to MAX_CHANNELS
addNewChannel : function(newChannel){
    if (this.numChannels <= MAX_CHANNELS){
        return AudioSnapLib.addChannel(newChannel);
    } else {
        throw new Error(TOO_MANY_CHANNELS)
    // He lies.
Kristie-Breslin-PC ~/Desktop/AudioSnap/branch/AUDIO-149
$ git blame AudioSnapLib.js

Kristie: i’m freaking out right now

Angie: oh no. why

Kristie: so i just got back from lunch and my computer was already logged in

Angie: uh oh. senpai strikes again.

Kristie: i noticed a file had been modified, so i did a git blame. check it out.
Kristie: 800a806f (Greta Griffin 2021-08-25 13:23:10 266) // He lies

Angie: what’s a git blame

Kristie: sorry. git blame is a command that shows who was the last person to edit each line of a file
Kristie: someone edited the file at 1:23 PM while I was at lunch
Kristie: and added a comment that says “He lies”

Angie: the hell?

Kristie: who is Greta Griffin

Angie: she was the programmer on the project before you started

Kristie: well she obviously still has access

Angie: i don’t think so

Kristie: she has to. she’s the one who edited the file. like literally 10 mins ago.

Angie: that’s not possible

Kristie: why?

Angie: because she’s dead

Kristie: omg
Kristie: what happened

Angie: killed herself

Kristie jfc are you serious

Angie: we should talk. meet me outside?

from: Kristie Breslin <>
to: Mitchell Sanderson <>
date: Aug 25, 2021, 2:35 PM
subject: Harassment

Hey Mitch,

I hate to be the squeaky wheel, but I’m having some problems and I need your advice. Somebody has been changing files on my machine without my knowledge. Last night, they created a file called RAPIST.txt that I found this morning when I came in. Now, I just got back from lunch and another file was changed while I was gone. I feel like someone might be messing with me.

Do you have time to chat sometime today? Thanks.

Kristie Breslin
Software Engineer

Mitch: saw your email. got a sec to chat now?

Kristie: yep

Mitch: great. okay if I record our call for HR?

Kristie: of course

Mitch: is calling you

Audio transcription between Mitchell Sanderson (@mitch) and Kristie Breslin (@kristie)

Mitchell Sanderson
Hey, Kristie. Thanks for hopping on. You okay?

Kristie Breslin
Yeah, I’m all right. I mean, I’m a little freaked out, but –

Mitchell Sanderson
Sure, of course. I would be too.

Kristie Breslin
So, what do you think I should do?

Mitchell Sanderson
Well first, let me say that I’m really sorry this is happening to you. Whatever it is, we’ll get to the bottom of it. You have my full support. And anything we discuss is confidential. Cool?

Kristie Breslin
I appreciate that.

Mitchell Sanderson
Great. So, I’ll be honest. This isn’t the first time we’ve heard concerns about Jasper.

Kristie Breslin
I didn’t say anything about Jasper.

Mitchell Sanderson
No, right. I know. I’m just saying. He can definitely come on too strong sometimes. He’s just, you know, he’s kind of awkward. Big guy, hasn’t been around women too much. But I promise, he’s harmless.

Kristie Breslin
Okay …

Mitchell Sanderson
I think the main thing I want you to know is that it’s okay to take it easy a little bit. Give yourself a rest. I appreciate you staying late to figure out that audio bug, but it’s not worth sacrificing your health for it. I can have someone else look into it.

Kristie Breslin
My health is fine.

Mitchell Sanderson
Sure, I get it. You’re a trooper. I just don’t want you to get too burned out in your first week.

Kristie Breslin
Really, I’m fine. I can handle the hours. But I’m not sure what that has to do with what I emailed you about.

Mitchell Sanderson
Well, I talked to Jasper –

Kristie Breslin
You did?

Mitchell Sanderson
Not about your email! No, no, sorry. Let me be clear. Not about your email. Just about the unauthorized access to your computer. He brought it up to me.

Kristie Breslin
Uh huh.

Mitchell Sanderson
Anyway, he mentioned that, you know, there wasn’t really anybody else who accessed your computer at the times you said. He checked the security footage and everything.

Kristie Breslin
And you’re just going to take his word for it?

Mitchell Sanderson
He’s worked here for, what? Thirteen years? So, yeah. I trust him.

Kristie Breslin
Oh. Okay. So, what …? I just dreamed it? Maybe I sleepwalked into the office and started editing files in my sleep?

Mitchell Sanderson
I’m not saying that.

Kristie Breslin
Maybe that’s what happened to Greta Griffin too? She just sleepwalked off the roof?

[Silence. 00:11]

Kristie Breslin
Mitch? You still there?

Mitchell Sanderson
– hear … [unintelligible] … driving –

Kristie Breslin
Hello? Mitch?

[Call disconnected]

Are you sure you want to delete “mitch-kristie-20210825.mp3”?

This item will be deleted immediately. You can’t undo this action.


Kristie: that motherfucker

Angie: what did he say?

Kristie: oh, nothing. just tried to blame me. told me to take a break, that I was working too hard

Angie: well, are you?

Kristie: oh no. not you too.

Angie: I’m just saying, it has been a long week. maybe you should take off a little early.

Kristie: why is everyone treating me like i’m made of glass
Kristie: i’m fine

// Add new audio channel, up to MAX_CHANNELS
addNewChannel : function(newChannel){
    // HIS FAULT
    // HIS FAULT
    // HIS FAULT
    // HIS FAULT
    // HIS FAULT
Kristie-Breslin-PC ~/Desktop/AudioSnap/branch/AUDIO-149
$ git blame AudioSnapLib.js
862s446d (Greta Griffin 2021-08-26 02:07:10 258) // HIS FAULT
862s446d (Greta Griffin 2021-08-26 02:07:10 259) // HIS FAULT
862s446d (Greta Griffin 2021-08-26 02:07:10 260) // HIS FAULT
862s446d (Greta Griffin 2021-08-26 02:07:10 261) // HIS FAULT
862s446d (Greta Griffin 2021-08-26 02:07:10 262) // HIS FAULT

Kristie: is there anyone else in infosec besides Jasper?

Angie: yeah, there’s a whole team
Angie: they all report to him though, so …

Kristie: /giphy goddamnit

Angie: still having computer problems?

Kristie: you were friends with Greta Griffin, right?

Angie: work friends, yeah

Kristie: what was she like?

Angie: hella smart. ballsy. kinda hot, in a nerdy sort of way.

Kristie: did she seem depressed at all? before

Angie: no, that’s what made it so surprising. she was totally fine.
Angie: just got a new puppy
Angie: just moved in with her girlfriend in park slope
Angie: she was happy
Angie: at least she seemed like it
Angie: obviously she wasn’t

Kristie: if I tell you something, do you swear not to tell anyone?

Angie: of course

Kristie: let’s go for a walk

from: <>
to: Kristie Breslin <>
date: Aug 26, 2021, 3:44 PM
subject: Your order # 111-8508406-3189834

Hello Kristie,

Thank you for shopping with us. We’ll send a confirmation when your item ships.

Xiomi Micro Security Camera w/High Sensitivity Microphone
Arriving: Tomorrow, August 27
Order Total: $23.57

We hope to see you again soon.

from: Willis Cole <>
to: Kristie Breslin <>
date: Aug 27, 2021, 9:10 AM
subject: Amazon Package

Hi Kristie,

Your Amazon package has arrived.


Jasper: did you see what she installed at her desk?

Mitch: no, what?

Jasper: security camera

Mitch: seriously?
Mitch: /giphy facepalm

Jasper: dude. literally nobody touched her computer.
Jasper: i swear, she changed those files herself
Jasper: where did you find her anyway?

Mitch: i didn’t

Jasper: well, she’s nuts
Jasper: bat
Jasper: shit
Jasper: crazy

Mitch: i know i know

from: Angie Martinique <>
to: Mitchell Sanderson <>
date: Aug 27, 2021, 11:25 AM
subject: Kristie

Hey Mitch,

I’m a little worried about Kristie’s mental health. She has been working crazy hours trying to figure out that audio bug, and I think she’s starting to crack a little under the strain. She told me yesterday that she thinks the bug is actually being caused by the ghost of Greta Griffin. Like, literally, a ghost is changing her code. That’s not normal.

I just thought you should know.


from: Mitchell Sanderson <>
to: Angie Martinique <>
date: Aug 27, 2021, 11:38 AM
subject: Re: Kristie

oh man, that’s bad. thanks for the heads up. i’ll talk to HR and see what they think we should do. i hate to let her go, but we obviously can’t have that kind of crazy around here.


r/AudioProcessing Posted by u/kristiegriffin99

Can somebody help me extract and analyze a specific background noise from a series of audio and video recordings?

I have a couple of voice chat mp3 files, as well as a couple of security camera mp4 video files. To my ear, it sounds like they all have the exact same sound in the background, despite being recorded at different times in different places on different devices by different people. That’s impossible though, right? Bonus points to anyone who can actually figure out what the voice in the background is saying.

audiodoc 1 min ago
DM me. I can probably help.

kristiegriffin99: any luck

audiodoc: yeah, that’s definitely crying, and it does seem to be the same person on all the recordings

kristiegriffin99: even on the security camera footage?

audiodoc: yep

kristiegriffin99: and you’re sure it’s the same sound as on the voice chat recordings

audiodoc: absolutely
audiodoc: maybe it’s the girl

kristiegriffin99: what girl?

audiodoc: in the video

kristiegriffin99: there’s no girl in the video. it’s just my empty desk the whole time. audiodoc: look again

audiodoc: in the reflection on the office window

kristiegriffin99: hang on

audiodoc: you see her? standing next to the desk?

kristiegriffin99: oh my god

audiodoc: weird, right?
audiodoc: could be someone behind the camera. hard to tell.
audiodoc: or could be a ghost lol
audiodoc: anyway
audiodoc: you still there?
audiodoc: hello?
audiodoc: all right, well … speaking of ghosting hahaha
audiodoc: btw i’m pretty sure i know what the background voice is saying
audiodoc: it’s clearer in the video than the voice chats
audiodoc: sounds to me like it’s saying “mitchell did it”

Mitch: i’m running out to get food. want anything?

Jasper: nah im good thanks

Mitch: you sure? i can expense it since we’re working late

Jasper: say no more fam

Mitch: i’m thinking mexican. the usual?

Jasper: si
Jasper: swing by my office when you get back
Jasper: i found something interesting about that kristie girl

Mitch: like what

Jasper: more red flags than a chinese pep rally

Mitch: /giphy kill me
Mitch: who hired her anyway

Jasper: um
Jasper: you?

Mitch: not me

Jasper: who did then?

Mitch: probably Rob? idk

Jasper: well he should have done a background check
Jasper: the girl has issues

Mitch: she has been asking about greta

Jasper: yeah i heard
Jasper: did she know her?

Mitch: dunno
Mitch: i hope not

Jasper: so what are you going to do?

Mitch: gotta run
Mitch: let’s talk when i get back

Save money. Live better.

ST# 01453 OP# 567890 TE# 23 TR# 03111

Product: Camillus Carnivore X Machete
Serial #: CM778976

Subtotal: $26.82
Tax 8.000%: $2.14
Total: $28.96

Account #: XXXX XXXX XXXX 9983

Change Due: $0.00

08/27/2021 8:42 PM


Fri Aug 27, 2021 8:54 PM : Kristie Breslin [ENTER] Main Lobby
Fri Aug 27, 2021 8:55 PM : Kristie Breslin [ENTER] Elevator 1 [UP TO] Floor 4
Fri Aug 27, 2021 8:55 PM : Kristie Breslin [ENTER] 4th Floor West

Fri Aug 27, 2021 8:55 PM : Mitchell Sanderson [ENTER] Main Lobby
Fri Aug 27, 2021 8:56 PM : Mitchell Sanderson [ENTER] Elevator 1 [UP TO] Floor 4
Fri Aug 27, 2021 8:56 PM : Mitchell Sanderson [ENTER] 4th Floor West

AudioSnap Tower Security
Date: 2021-08-27 9:01 PM
Caller: Mitchell Sanderson | 212-555-4932 | 4th Floor West

Front Desk
Security. This is Nick.

Mitchell Sanderson

Front Desk
I’m sorry, can you repeat that?

Mitchell Sanderson

Front Desk
I’m having a hard time hearing –

Mitchell Sanderson
[whispering] Mitchell did it.


Jasper: yo you back with the food yet?
Jasper: im starving

Jasper: holy fuck
Jasper: did you hear that?
Jasper: sounded like screaming

Jasper: you there?
Jasper: hello?


Fri Aug 27, 2021 9:03 PM : Jasper Heinz [EXIT] 4th Floor East
Fri Aug 27, 2021 9:03 PM : Jasper Heinz [ENTER] 4th Floor West

911 CALL
Q=911 Dispatcher

Q: 911, where is your emergency?

A: Yes, hello? 911?

Q: Yes, sir. Where is your emergency?

A: AudioSnap tower. The address is, um …

Q: It’s okay, I’ve got it. Tell me what’s going on there.

A: I don’t know. There’s so much blood.

Q: Are you injured?

A: No, it’s not mine. Oh, god. I’m going to – (vomiting noises). I’m sorry. (vomiting noises)

Q: It’s okay, just try to remain calm. I’ve got a unit en route. What floor are you on?

A: Fourth floor. West.

Q: And how many people are injured?

A: I don’t know. There’s no body.

Q: There’s no body?

A: No. Just blood.

Q: Okay. And what’s your name?

A: Jasper Heinz.

Q: Are you an employee there?

A: Yeah. Oh my god. Mitch. (weeping)

Q: Who’s that? Mitch, you said?

A: Yeah. Mitchell Sanderson. I’m in his office.

Q: All right. Is there anyone else there with you?

A: Just me and him. We were working late.

Q: I mean, is there anyone else with you right now? Are you sure you’re safe?

A: I … I don’t know.

Q: Okay. I want you to go ahead and lock the door to the office until officers arrive. Can you do that for me?

A: (unintelligible)

Q: Say again? … Sir? … Sir, are you there?


AudioSnap / AUDIO-149

Type: Bug
Priority: Urgent
Status: Resolved
Resolved by: Kristie Breslin <>


Fri Aug 27, 2021 9:09 PM : Kristie Breslin [EXIT] 4th Floor West
Fri Aug 27, 2021 9:09 PM : Kristie Breslin [ENTER] Elevator 1 [DOWN TO] Floor 1
Fri Aug 27, 2021 9:10 PM : Kristie Breslin [EXIT] Main Lobby

Incident Report

Case #: 12-0386
Incident #: 75240
Date Reported: Friday 08/27/2021 21:04
Date Occurred: Friday 08/27/2021 21:00 (approx.)
Incident Type: Homicide

Date Written: Monday 08/30/2021 14:21
Officer Name & Rank: KELSEY, JONATHAN (PO)


PO Kelsey responded to the AudioSnap Tower (4th Floor West) after being dispatched to investigate a 911 emergency. Upon arrival, PO Kelsey secured the scene then began his investigation. No bodies were found, nor was the 911 caller present. Based on the volume of blood at the scene, PO Kelsey concluded that multiple homicides had likely occurred.

Upon reviewing security footage from the scene, PO Kelsey noted several audio anomalies that warrant further investigation: the sound of weeping, as well as the repeated whispering of a phrase sounding like “witch will get it.” Expert analysis is pending.

Keycard logs indicate the presence of an individual named Kristie Breslin at the time of the murders. However, there are conflicting reports about whether anyone by that name was ever employed by AudioSnap. CTO Rob Davenport maintains that no such employee exists; others interviewed by PO Kelsey insist a woman calling herself Kristie has been working in the office for at least a week. Residential records indicate a Kristie née Breslin living in Park Slope, Brooklyn, but attempts to contact her have been unsuccessful.

An item believed to be the murder weapon, identified as an 18-inch Camillus Carnivore X Machete, was retrieved by PO Kelsey from a dumpster in the South alley behind the building. A Walmart receipt for said weapon was also found in the dumpster. Credit card records indicate the weapon was purchased using a card belonging to Greta Griffin, a former employee of AudioSnap.

PO Kelsey noted that the South alley was the scene of an incident to which he had responded three weeks prior: the death of Greta Griffin (Case # 12-0299 Incident # 68323), who fell from the AudioSnap Tower roof. Although the death of Ms. Griffin was initially ruled a suicide, additional forensic analysis now indicates the presence of semen in her genital area, raising the possibility that she may have been sexually assaulted before her death. Given the relationship between Ms. Griffin and the suspected victims in this case, and the use of Ms. Griffin’s credit card to purchase the murder weapon, the Griffin case is now being reclassified as a possible homicide. END.

from: LinkedIn <>
to: Kristie Griffin <>
date: Aug 30, 2021, 6:10 PM
subject: Today’s job listings

Hi Kristie,

Here are the latest job listings from the companies you follow:

  • Software Engineer (posted 3 weeks ago)
  • [NEW] Engineering Manager (posted today)
  • [NEW] Infosec Lead (posted today)

For more listings like this, visit

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